I need a better nickname for him than “overly tanned guy” or “Mr. Melanoma.” ]]> He’s always at lake Calhoun:

I need a better nickname for him than “overly tanned guy” or “Mr. Melanoma.”

On homework:

Orientation Leaders: “You’ll get your assignments on Friday, don’t worry about them now.”

10 minutes later:

Professor: “Read pages 1-5, 7-20, 30-36. Read EVERY [...]]]> Today was a slightly shorter day of orientation. The 1Ls are still good troopers, but it was a personally frustrating day for some orientation leaders because we were constantly undermined by presenters:

On homework:

Orientation Leaders: “You’ll get your assignments on Friday, don’t worry about them now.”

10 minutes later:

Professor: “Read pages 1-5, 7-20, 30-36. Read EVERY WORD of the first case. It’s mostly Latin…”

On Professors:

1L: “I read on Rate My Professor that Professor Palsgraff is a horrible person who can’t teach and tortures bunnies. Is that true?!”
Orientation Leaders: “Well, everyone has different learning styles and everyone’s favorite professor is someone else’s least favorite. And although Professor Palsgraff may not be the most energetic speaker, she is at the top of her field, dedicated to her students, and surely only kicks the bunnies who deserve it.”

10 minutes later:

Student Speaker: “Oh and I heard you had Palsgraff for one of your classes! HAH! Lemme tell ya – you won’t learn SQUAT from Palsgraff, she’s a horrible teacher and wrings bunnies’ necks till the light leaves their eyes…”

On employment:

Orientation Leaders: “And don’t worry too much about jobs right now, you can’t even contact the career center until late in the semester…”

10 minutes later:

Career Center Speaker: “Hi, we are a resource here for you! We can’t contact you until the fall, and employers even later, but let me give you a 10 minute spiel about employment stuff so you freak out. Oh, and there’s an online system called Symplicity and although you don’t have access to it …jobs, jobs, ra-ah-ah, jobs jobs, o la, la…

Oh and “like” us on facebook!”

Life/Work balance:

Orientation Leaders: “You can successfully balance school and life! Just remember to be efficient in your studies and you’ll have free time…”

10 minutes later:

Speaker: “…and although you all will be TERRIBLY STRESSED AND OVERLOADED and wallowing in your deep pit of despair…”

Well crap.

After orientation, I made a brief trip to the office and spent the rest of the evening with Alesus, flanked by dogs, watching Rachael Zoe.

Alesus moved to my neighborhood yesterday, so this will probably become a common occurrence, much to Gertrude’s annoyance. No one puts THAT baby in a corner…

Only one more day of orientation left, and then a weekend of work!

And yes, those 10-foot corn stalks are in the front of someone’s house, on the tree lawn, in a completely residential neighborhood of St. Paul.

Obviously they don’t have a neighborhood association in those parts. ]]> Alesus has some interesting neighbors.

And yes, those 10-foot corn stalks are in the front of someone’s house, on the tree lawn, in a completely residential neighborhood of St. Paul.

Obviously they don’t have a neighborhood association in those parts.

One of the most important things that happened today was the introduction to legal writing. Look at all those gleaming packets of knowledge:

Snazzy.

While the 1Ls were in hours (and hours) [...]]]> The second day of orientation was epic. The 1Ls shuffled in at 8am, and left for the bar across the street around 5.

One of the most important things that happened today was the introduction to legal writing. Look at all those gleaming packets of knowledge:

Snazzy.

While the 1Ls were in hours (and hours) of sessions, I worked on less glamorous projects like stacking chairs:

I actually like the “grunt work” aspect of orientation because it helps me burn off the ridiculous amounts of food that I inhale. The law school is littered with free food, none of it healthy.

After orientation, many of the orientation leaders joined the 1Ls for the law council mixer at a nearby bar. I stayed until around 8pm, because I was busy talking to students from other sections and my car was inaccessible for almost an hour.

The bulk of the 1Ls sat on the bar patio, which is right off the street. I am in the middle of explaining the value of the criminal law horn book to a new 1L when sirens went off. Two fire trucks swoop up towards the bar. Cop cars follow.

The cops and firefighters jump out of their cars. The cops then block the road, and tape off the parking ramp exit with crime scene tape! How the hell am I supposed to go home?

Then things get confusing. The emergency crew goes into a stairwell by the bar, puts more police tape up, and tears it down.

The cops then move to the side of the bar and stand around looking annoyed. It made no sense.

Then a van labeled “DETOX” shows up. There are rumors that a meth lab was discovered. But no one knew what was going on, or particularly cared. The cops looked extremely bored so we assumed it wasn’t that serious.

The cops eventually tore the tape off of the parking garage and I went home, right before dark, around 8pm. The view:

I get home. The dogs are unamused. I get to clean Harley’s kennel. Ick.

I throw laundry in the wash and take the dogs on a long walk. I come back home to find the power out in the basement. The hallway is pitch black including the laundry room, although my apartment (the garden level) has power.

I call the maintenance guy, he doesn’t pick up, so I fish my clothes out of the washer, wring them out, and position them awkwardly in the bath tub. This is my glamorous life. On the bright side, the bathroom smells amazing now. Good thing I bought fancy detergent.

Two hours later, around 11:30, the emergency maintenance guy calls back and says, “Just flip the whatsit switch on and off.”

I’m standing in the dark laundry room. None of the switches are labeled, and I do not want to turn random tenant’s power, water, or whatever on-and-off in the middle of the night. The maintenance guy is irritated and finally says “FINE I’LL COME ALL THE WAY OVER THERE TO FLIP A SWITCH!”

Thank you. That’s all I ask. I don’t mind owning my incompetence.

And this the bumper sticker:

The last time I received a note on my car, it was literally ON my car.

Orientation leaders are flight attendants with manual labor duties: we smile, answer questions, give directions, mingle, smile some more, answer more questions, give peppy speeches, and haul tables and chairs throughout the law school.

At least the 1Ls aren’t crazy this year, so [...]]]> The first day of orientation was long. We worked from about 7am to 6pm.

Orientation leaders are flight attendants with manual labor duties: we smile, answer questions, give directions, mingle, smile some more, answer more questions, give peppy speeches, and haul tables and chairs throughout the law school.

At least the 1Ls aren’t crazy this year, so there were no Steven Slater moments so far.

I started the day as a greeter, and several of my 1L twitter followers and blog readers introduced themselves – which is always great when they don’t pelt me with oranges.

Although I don’t really know what the etiquette is for those conversations:

1L: “Hi! I’m one of your twitter followers!”
Me: “Hi! Great! Welcome to Minnesota law! Hopefully I haven’t given any bad advice!”
1L: “Oh no, I love your updates.”
Me: “Thanks!”
1L: “…”
Me: “Well, welcome!”
1L: “Okay, I’m going go over there now.”

The problem is that I do not know how much a reader has read, and I don’t want to presume any knowledge. And of course I usually have NO idea who the reader is, so the conversation is inevitably awkward.

From now on, I will just encourage people to add me to facebook and throw their blog links my way (if they have one) so I can put a face to a username. And I think more UMN students should blog. But that’s another rant…

We also had a sassy Texan-Minnesotan keynote speaker who emphasized a theme that most of the orientation leaders stressed throughout the day: “Do what is right for you.”

Isn’t that annoying advice?

A more concrete iteration of the theme is, “Status does not create self confidence. So if you do something solely for the prestige, you will likely still be self-conscious and miserable.”

Or,

“It takes far more courage to do what is right for your lifestyle, goals, and values rather than parrot your peers’ goals.”

All that advice is very abstract and nonsensical to the 1Ls. But the 3Ls listening to the keynote lecturer wanted to scream “AMEN!”

They’ll learn in time, hopefully…

I checked my voice mail after orientation. The management company for my apartment building called:

Management: “Hello, the cleaning ladies and tenants complained that the light bulbs in the hallway are burnt out. That’s something the caretaker is supposed to do. Stop failing at this. Thanks.”

So I jet to the apartment, give a new tenant his keys, and gasp in horror when I see that HALF of the lights in the building are out!

I asked one of the tenants how long the bulbs were out, and he said “Oh, since we moved in!”

And I felt like crap.

But then I realized that he was lying because he moved in two months ago and I gave apartment showings this weekend on that floor and none of the bulbs were out.¹ I bet he told the management company that the building was in darkness for months. Ugh.

The day ended with a drive to the suburbs. I needed to tell my boss that my orientation schedule is more time consuming than I expected, and I didn’t want to miss any emails.

After emailing the boss, I called tech support and learned that we have web-based mail too. Woops.

Day 2 of orientation starts tomorrow, as in… 10 hours. Time for bed.

Every…freaking…time…

And I, being ever so prepared, decided to wear flipflops.

Good thing the dog harnesses made [...]]]> Alesus and I decided to take a nature-tour with the krakens. Of course the path near the river was flooded and the dogs had to charge right through the middle of the muck:

Every…freaking…time…

And I, being ever so prepared, decided to wear flipflops.

Good thing the dog harnesses made it super easy to throw the dogs in the river to torture clean them off.

And yes, the back seat of my car is a hot mess.

More pictures:

We should make time to do this during the semester.

Other photography posts:

And I think I’m getting sick. Bahumbug.

The most amusing part of orientation training is that we have to febreeze the classrooms:

This is necessary because the classrooms smell like snot. [...]]]> Today was the second day of orientation training. Orientation starts tomorrow, and I’ll be posted at the front doors greeting the new 1Ls at 7:30am.

And I think I’m getting sick. Bahumbug.

The most amusing part of orientation training is that we have to febreeze the classrooms:

This is necessary because the classrooms smell like snot. Well, at least they used to smell like snot – now the rooms smell of febreeze freshness.

My first donation to the law school will be earmarked for a carpet steamer.

I feel good about orientation. The orientation leaders are hilarious, the orientation schedule seems workable, and last year’s kinks were smoothed out. Now if only this cold went away…

The best thing about the Lake Street Popeyes is its signage:

I love that the signs are BOLD and [...]]]> I recently became the foursquare mayor of the Minneapolis Popeyes Chicken. I love that place. I go there every time I order a mouthful of buttery-biscuit goodness with a side of stereotypes.

The best thing about the Lake Street Popeyes is its signage:

I love that the signs are BOLD and so that YOU understand that they do not accept plastic! Remember, ONLY CASH!

Here’s a closeup of that sign:

And yes, I still prefer Church’s Chicken.

Church’s has better biscuits, spell check, and accepts credit cards.